As close as we can get it.

What if we had a giant piece of paper- the size of this house? We could fold it into a paper airplane and travel across the valley on it. The wind will pick up and take us over the mountain to that small Heber City. We'll get ice cream at that place like when we were kids and traveled in that bumpy white Jeep listening to Colors. I loved that Granny's place where I discovered fry sauce and gummy bears in vanilla ice cream. But, they tore it down and we got a new Jeep that was red and fancy and didn't bump so much (besides, my mom told me how fry sauce was fattening and I've never forgiven it since). So, everything changed except for the point that *Colors still makes me car sick, in or out of the car.


Things change so fast and I can't remember so many things that I wish I did. I can't remember my 8 year old baptism like I was supposed to. I only remember that the Carmichael's gave me a weird plastic doll thing with pink spaghetti hair. 


The only thing I remember about Mrs. King's class in elementary school is that she made us pick up garbage and, one time, Clay Francis and I went for the same piece of crap and our hands touched. Did I ever notice him the day before? Nope, but we were going to get married, of course (until I found another boy to be secretly engaged to the next week- "So that's when it all started" quote Tyler George- yes, I'm still ridiculous). 


Every one of my memories are that bizarre and that random. Are yours? 


I write in my journal avidly now, but then... not so much as to even have the colored pages make sense to a single soul. So, my mother gave me an idea(for what else are the odd creatures for than birthing and scrap-booking?). Mother told me to maybe write down all the childhood memories I can remember so I don't lose any more than I already have. See? Their ideas are grand! So, if you can remember only a few memories, write them down in a new childhood journal... or, it'd be kinda cool to add on to the old journals too.


"Let your memories grow stronger til they're before your eyes"
Love, your barefooted blogger, Brynnie


*Manda, isn't that the band that Derek gave you a c.d. of? If so, cute! and lucky. No future husband of mine will give me a c.d. b/c nobody gives c.d.'s anymore.

"I'm all toasty inside... and I'm leaking!"

From here and now on, I am going to post pictures that I take. With my father's beautiful new, big camera, and the right settings (I've been playing around with it all day), and the Christmas lights that Haley put up for the holidays, I decided to give you a tour of my bedroom. I enjoy loading it with messy crap, but Mom, it's an organized mess, you see?

{stars are hanging from my bedroom ceiling}

{notice the collection of 16 scarves on the door- I've only worn 5}

{that wall there? that is My Blessing's List :) When I am feeling really grateful for a person, I write their name over again. Notice the big black box in the corner? I was feeling quite blessed to have that person this morning, so I simply colored it in :)}

{Me and Haley}

{not in my room- but we have ornaments that look just like bubbles!}

{on this setting... our tree looks like a tree from heaven!}

Did you watch the 1st Presidency Christmas Devotional too, perchance? If not, find some way to read Elder Uchtdorf's talk from 2011 and 2010. Both are incredible and the second talked about the Grinch. We watched that after the devotional and I wrote down about half the movie into my journal. I found quotes and a whole new vocabulary for myself to use! Umbrella- Pumbercella  Recorder- Blabbacorder  Refrigerator- Sub-Zero Chililibrator

The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.

The Grinch: Oh. Bleeding hearts of the world, UNITE. 

The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear? 

Maxy, help me, I'm feeling! Chayse (favorite boy to babysit) calls me Blynn. So- Love, Blynn

LIPS.

You are probably reading this and thinking, 'who is she wanting to be kissed by?' or, my personal favorite assumption, 'she's 16 now...was Brynnie kissed?!'. Nope, nope, nope. Both these questions can be answered but they are lame- I'm a "sixteen sweetheart" now (as Paco called me). But, I do not want to be kissed and nobody kissed me... for now. {just jokes!}

During my algebra 2 class, I was thinking about my lips. So, naturally, I wrote them all down. {What else are we to do in Algebra 2 class? Listen? No}

I know that my bottom lip sticks out as I write.

I know I purse them as I put on my makeup.

I know I lick them when I sing; squeeze them as I sketch.

They twitch excessively as I get excited (as do my eyebrows- it's humiliating).

They get thin as I smile.

They get plump when I cry.

I get them red in the mornings.

I get loaded, painful zits on them over night.

I have a freckle on them and some boy's going to be like... mmm.... oh my, a freckle.

Lots of kisses, Brynnie :) 

"So, Brynn, are you going barefoot on your first date?" 

skin

"I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping 

me from going everywhere at once." ~Ever After

Happy

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love

Got my friends, got the sunshine above

Why am I making this hard on myself

When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

Greetings Earthlings, let's take a journey.

I am Brynnie of the hills of cedar, Queen of the land of Strange and an expert in the art of awkwardness. 

            How 'bout Me and You?? Hm?

Everyone! I'm getting married! ... someday. But still, I am getting married! ... at least I hope so. And some man's gonna kiss me! ... well, he better ... No matter! He'll love me :)

"You, my friend, are one of my favorite life forms." says Hannah's new broken Buzz Lightyear toy. 

                              Now I Am Wondering This---> If Cell Phones Didn't Exist, Would We Still Be Friends? 

I'm also wondering if anyone knows how to pee while staying in a tree. If you have any ideas or have also attempted to take the challenge to stay in a tree for 24 hours... please, let me know.

Speaking of pee, I'm going to wet my pants.         It's alright. I went.

Is it just me or does it feel like my new background is gonna come out and grab you?

Dani... does the first song on my playlist make you want to cry too??

ImAgInE tHiS mY fRiEnD---> Imagine you could take a picture of a beautiful shirt, press it against your shirt and ShabaM! It's on you now. Can you imagine that? Here's another example. Imagine you had a picture of a gorgeous woman in your hands. How 'bout that one on the top! She's beautiful. So, you have a picture of... Emily here and you press that picture on you face and... well, magic. Your face is now not your face. It's Emily's. Just don't press her shirt onto your face. tehe... you'd have a shirt face. PAHA!

But Brynnie of the hills of cedar lived happily ever after and she had lived pretty happily before that, so... she lived one happy life. 

Even If She Was Always Awkward. She Kinda Liked It.

THE END.

11 Random Things About Me and My Self

15's too long. Nobody cares to hear 15 freaking things about ME!:)

 1. My hands turn blackish blue because I write so much in my journals. They look kinda scary actually...

 2. I have recently discovered the power of wearing not the same tennis shoes everyday and I think it's part of this process I'm a goin' through- turning into a girl instead of being a man- also, I've become quite...dare I say it...obsessed with cool shoes. This has just come from the girl who, at the beginning of the semester, thought shoes were completely pointless.

 3. My first contacts on my 'recent list' when I text are- My Self, My Dead Journal, Summer List, and Journal. Hey, it makes me look like I have real friends to text.

 4. Yesterday, at my choir concert, I wore my dinosaur boxer shorts and my choir robe and went 'strutting' down the hallway showing off my almost knee length nylons to everyone. My sleeves blew wizardly and I wished to go cast a spell on brotha Breton. But I didn't cuz he was so good at the 'strut' down the hall in his tailcoat thing:) (By the way- I would have felt just like Harry Potter but he doesn't strut an neither does his father)

 5. My favorite thing about my appearence is my mole on my cheek.

 6. I'm a white on the color code test! What are you? I would like to know!

 7. I am SO excited to get married, have my funeral, and go to heaven! You are all invited to swim in my community bath tub in heaven! You see, all kinds of benefits come from reading my blog!;)

 8. I've been mistaken for being drunk, twice and I'm rather proud of it (but don't worry people, I would never drink) I'm crazy but I'm not an idiot:)

 9. Like Dani, I wish I was a red head. But only an attractive red head because... ya know, unattractive red heads are just.. unattractive. P.S.- A fiery red!

10. I love floral anything all of the sudden. I want floral wall paper and some floral tights (hence the picture up yonder)

11. Sometimes I'd rather be by myself and hang out with my journals and imaginary friends than with real people. and sometimes I sneak off to the library instead of going to lunch... I love library's. They're one of my favorite things.

 p.s.- that first picture is my absolute favorite and I didn't know when to use the wonderful thing but I said to my Self, "Self, what better a time to use this picture than on a post about me? and therefore... there it is.

 THE END




Note to me friend:  Maddiey, Maddiey, Maddiey, Maddiey, Maddiey!! LOOK! My enters worked! yes Yes yEs yeS YES! alkay... bye:) lahve you

I'm not growing up.

I just might be changing. Whether I want to or not, I am getting older.

"My brain somehow thinks that turning 16 will end my life and end my happiness." -Brynn's Dead Journal

"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional." -Chili Davis

"You can't stay young forever but you can be immature for the rest of your life." -Unknown

I'm not going to grow up... ever. Nope, not ever. As we sang so many times this summer,"I won't grow up, I don't wanna go to school, I don't wanna wear a tie..."

Well, I don't really love going to school... or wearing a tie but I will. But I will not grow up. I completely refuse. In fact, I think I'm... growing down.

It's a rather enjoyable thing to do. To grow down. Will you join me in this growing down-ness? Please do. We're all secretly little kids still. Aren't we? I still am. I still take baths and blow bubbles and play dress up and close my eyes tight and wish on dandelions. I base the goodness of my day off the trucks I see, I have masquerades with my sisters, I put my underwear on inside out all the time, I got reacquainted with my dear imaginary friend and she helps me when I cry, I still start writing a book every week and forget about it the next, I dance around my room in short dresses pretending I'm a uniquely beautiful girl named Portland, I write an intense book as I walk down the hallway at my High School, I pretend that there's a baby fairy princess living on top of the light next to the broken one in the choir room, I've imagined every possible scenario for meeting my future husband, I still go and visit my old kingdom Zuaguario, and I'm still a little girl.

Please, grow down with me and you'll have almost as much fun as I do. I promise.

Love, as I made my teacher call me in Pre-K, Miss Brynn.

Day Seven: My Best Friends

I cannot choose a best friend. I really tried very hard but when you've got such incredible friends it's hard. But it wasn't hard to narrow it down to 4 gorgeous girls. These girls are the most amazing people I've ever met and I mean it. I've never once been sad when I'm around them. Now, you ask, how could a person be capable of making you so happy? You don't know these girls. They're all crazy. completely nuts. Did you know I love them that way? Well, I do. I can't tell you how much I love them.

There's this one named Marisa and another named Maddiey and there's this girl named Dani and a Brenna too. They each are so unique and different from people I know. I can be myself around them and I'd die if even one of them were missing.

Marisa is the most hilarious lady I have met in my life, no joke. She's such a good example to me and I go to her when things aren't workin' out for me at that moment. There was a time once, at the beginning of our friendship, when I was crying and I was in the back of the crowd and she saw me and stayed back with me and comforted me and she's been my hero and my comforter ever since. I love her so much and she has changed my life.

I never knew I could love a group of girls so much until these Kumquats came along.

Maddiey is the cutest girl I know. She's just adorable. I love it when she talks about the person she likes cuz it's just adorable. Maddiey, I love you! She makes sure that everybody knows they're beautiful, in their own special way. She loves photography and she loves, Oh So loves to laugh. Very much. She's just about died a few times because she was laughing so hard. I love Miss Maddiey! I love her so much and she has changed my life.

Then there's this girl named Dani. I've never been much of a mind reader in my day but I can read her mind. She doesn't truly know how beautiful she is. She's okay with my nasty jokes. Oh I love her so much. I practically lived with her last summer:) Dani, I love you. She's been my friend the longest out of all of my Kumquats. I love her so much and she has changed my life.

There's a Brenna Kate Bergeson. Oh, she's a much more than swell friend. She's my hot dogs and hobo's friend... I don't even think I knew what a hobo was before I met her. She has the most beautiful hair. My mother forced us to pick tomatoes together. She is hilarious and I love her so much. I love her laugh and her entire family so much. She's a very stylish person. Really, her clothes are beautiful and they fit her personality, don't ya think? I love her so much and she has changed my life.

We're the weirdest bunch of girls and we're all a bit of a crazy mess. We're awkward sometimes and we're a family. They're my sisters. They're my girlfriends and my favorite group of women on earth and all of the planets and the celestial kingdom and all of those other kingdoms and all the places that ever existed or will exist. I hope you'll find some Kumquats and some best friends who understand you and love you.

What A Wonderful World

I see friends shakin' hands, sayin', "How do you do?" They're really sayin', "I love you!" ... The song then goes on to explain how he stalks babies- watching them cry and grow. But would that not be fabulous?! Not stalking babies... well, I guess that could be great fun too... Well, actually, it could! I actually once wrote a Journal Entry about it. Ha! for reals, I did:)

Well, anyway, what I was trying to say before I so rudely interrupted Myself was that it would be great if everyone went around saying that they loved each other! Is this not an extremely splendid idea?! I thought of this one day and I put my plan into action and I told a person that I loved them and Person was kinda surprised by this but Person seemed very quite happy about it. I told Person that I've realized what an amazing friend they were and that they were such a good example to me. They jokingly said, "You've just realized?!" Oh, haha, Person, Person. Person's a funny one. Person and I are such Kindred Spirits and Bosom Friends:)

So... I might as well start this lovin' stuff now! Well, guys, I Love You So Much :)

How is it that one could be so happy? How can it be possible to have so much happiness contained in one's very soul? I haven't really got a great reason to be overjoyed but, at the same time how could I not be? This world is too beautiful to be true, sometimes. How could heaven be any different than this world? I know there are those moments when a hot lump seems to come up my throat every time I open my mouth and if I keep it open for too long, I burst into tears, sometimes. But don't the happy and truly wonderful moments make up for those times?